My Financial Independence Evolution
When I read The Broke Diaries, it was like I was reading my financial autobiography in medical school. That was me… in my version of my broke diary; negotiating with the dry-cleaner to split my bill so that I could only pay for one dress and pick the rest up later. Looking forward to making some furniture craft for my apartment on Spring break while the rest of my classmates were going to some exotic Island for the week. I didn’t mind though, because I had plenty of practice (more on that later). My budget consisted of 4 lines:
-gas money
-rent
-food
-books
I’m skipping over a lot here, but the last time my finances were that simple was well over 25 years ago. Financial independence was palpable and on the horizon for us. Towards the end of the hyper-savings part of my financial independence (F.I.) journey, we were at the point of the anti-budget, this is where you “pay yourself first”. All your savings goals are satisfied first, then what ever is left over goes towards everything else. We had no bills except for our big-fat mortgage. For a while and for lack of a better plan; I added extra to the mortgage balance simply because it annoyed me (imagine me in my wrestling leotard up against that big fat stupid mortgage- hehehe).
Then one day, BOOM, the retirement savings alone was enough for traditional F.I.R.E. and the equity in our home catapulted us to “Fat F.I.R.E.” We also had rental income indefinitely, sooooooooo, now what? It wasn’t like I had figured anything out that I didn’t already know the day before, but it was actually happening and right in front of me was the mind-blowing question – what would you do, if you never had to come back to work again?
I hadn’t known anyone personally my age who retired early. My only connection to examples of what being F.I.R.E.ed was like was on-line. I read blogs, went on post-F.I. forums and listened to as many podcasts I could find about the very subject, but when it was tangibly in my hands the entire notion of life and time and what to do with these most precious commodities was difficult to grasp.
A paradigm shift is the only way I can describe it.
Converging with my approaching financial independence was my disenchantment with medicine as a whole. I don’t exactly remember when the tipping point was, but there came a point where the Starling curve became real for me. When that left ventricular pressure is so high, the heart starts to fail, the elasticity doesn’t snap back. I wasn’t snapping back. I had less autonomy, less freedom, and more anxiety with overwhelming exhaustion and fatigue. I didn’t feel like I could rest mentally, even on my days off or long weekends. I couldn’t deny it any more that I dreaded going to certain clinics and dealing with certain co-workers and colleagues.
The fact that none of these revelations were related to direct patient care was even more stinging. Seeing patients was the most fulfilling part of my day, but sadly, it was starting not to be worth it any more. The irony was that I had more autonomy in my career as a Fellow in training than I did as an attending physician practicing for over 10 years.
Know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
“The Gambler” written by Don Schlitz
Eventually I knew that I had to make the hardest choice of all, truncating my medical career. Wow, I was smack-in-the-middle of a negotiations tactic I learned in a women’s business circle; I was walking away from a bad deal. My approaching financial independence made me look long and hard at my current situation because I did not have to look for another job, I could simply walk away from medicine and all that it entailed. Serious thoughts of being done were now present in my daily life. I would at least take one year off to experience what it would be like.
When this choice is in front of you, it’s harder than you think. (insert stunned-eye emoji here and that newlywed or new parent feeling of “this just got real” hehehehe). Not wanting more or needing to DO more, I could choose to “waste” time or live anywhere I wanted in the entire world for as long as I wanted. No more board recertifications, no more bending for sub-standard practices and definitely no more contract negotiations. Just, I’m out…… Duces! (with my Bye Felicia T Shirt on skipping to my favorite new Disco mix).
Imagine if money was not a factor in everyday life.
Seriously, sit down right now and “wear it”. How would that look for you right now? After the kids are off to school for the day or for good, you finished your hike or exercise routine and the laundry’s done, how would you fill your time? I’m sure your brain is racing with ALL the possibilities. Or, is being a medical professional your sole identity? If this is the case, how would an average day play out for you? After you’ve taken all of your dream trips and visited friends in exotic places, after you sold your house for some where cheaper to live or moving to a place you’ve always dreamt of retiring to. Would the dynamics in your house change? Most likely they will change. How do these changes get incorporated into your new daily life and I dare say “routine”? However, if medicine is your only identity, thinking about these scenarios may be hard. I know, I know you’re saying right now “DocToDisco, are you kidding? I wouldn’t be reading your Blog if I wasn’t ready to leave medicine. I’m done, I’m out, see ya later alligator…..”.
Trust me, please take the time while still on your grind to explore what contentment is to you. If you are not who you are today, not an overwhelmed, busy “get-it-done-yesterday” health-care professional that I know you are presently. The answers you come up with might surprise you. Would you continue practicing for a lack of something else? It’s a real possibility. Just sayin’, it’s a fair question you have to ask yourself.
Oddly, I know a good number of “closet F.I.” docs who at first glance look miserable, but they don’t quit because the only identity they have is being a doctor. I was always perplexed by these types, but now I have come to understand that we all don’t have this figured out.
What does “early” or fairly early retirement hold for you after all the post-retirement check list items are marked off? What are the important things in life to you after your basic needs are met, in the F.I. sense?
No bills to feed or worry about……. what happens now?
It’s so annoyingly cliche when people write “you have to retire TO something and not AWAY from something”. But there’s some partial truth there. Of course, we know all the reasons we don’t want to do what we are doing now, but have we worked through what we will do in the absence of it?
Go ahead right now and write down an average day in the life of [retired] Dr. _____________. Yup, marinate on it right now!
Oh, the places you’ll go.
-Dr. Seuss
Whew! Got to go now, I’m beat, I was up too late dancing with Alan King on Twitch and my new favorite object for solo-Disco-partying.
