Howdy readers. I hope this post finds you in good spirits. What a year right? Going outside, COVID boosters, plane debacles and once again touching public bathroom door knobs with our bare hands. Being in your feelings (addressing mental illness) is the “new black” and the AirFryer is King!

Some of us have lost rights and others have gained well deserved recognition and long-over due positions of leadership. Did anyone say the Supreme Court?

Not to mention my absolute favorite fad of 2022 – THE DISCO BALL. All things mirrored with sequins PLEASE.

I hit my 3-year F.I.R.E. anniversary this week. Wow! A lot has changed

BUT

WAIT for it……….

Many things have remained the same!

Does this have to do with my age, or my INTJ pseudoscience personality?

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

To find out, read on. I’m just as curious as you.

Sticking (mostly) to the “format” of my last 1-year update, I’ll try to follow the same structure.

Disclaimer for all my F.I.R.E. finance peeps. This is about LIFE, more than how I got here. For how I got here, read this.

“…plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose”

Translation: the more things change, the more they stay the same

WHAT HAS CHANGED, WHAT HAS REMAINED THE SAME?

One:

The biggest change is that we sold the big fancy house in the HCOL area. It meant that we were officially “Dave Ramsey” debt-free. Yes, this is wonderful, but it didn’t change our outlook about life, places where we shopped, etc. Although deleting most of the “bill-pay” list is somewhat exhilarating, DELETE DELETE DELETE.

Here’s the twist. We bought a 5-plex in a low-tax State, however still in a “fancy” neighborhood which was intentional since we plan to make most of the units short-term rental’s. Thus, it remains that I live in a HCOL neighborhood, but I am hoping that Santa brings me a low-tax bill for Christmas this year (hehehe).

The house needs lots of work as it is a Mr. & Mrs. D2D “special”, certainly the worst house on the block in an upscale neighborhood walking distance to the beach. We have already started a few small renovations. Best part, there are multiple free electric car chargers within a 10 min walk which has become my favorite pastime. It’s the only monitor I watch now that gives me the same satisfaction as seeing my vanguard taxable account go up and up and up. hehehehe.

The next long-lasting change.

Two: I haven’t practiced medicine in 3 years now. It’s given me perspective that I needed and the space to see the forrest from the trees. Taking a huge step back from a career I spent my entire life (minus grade school) preparing for has made me realize something important about myself and maybe human nature.

WE WORK

To be productive is to be human. I’m not talking about “staying busy”. I’m talking about real work that I still do, just a different kind of work. I wish I could tell you that dancing under Disco balls late on a school night fulfilled me after I early-retired, sadly it didn’t. It was fun, but it didn’t last. I lost my purpose for a while and I experienced a mild depression. With the help of a professional certified therapist, I was able to get better. However, the sad fact remains. In this stage of my life, even if I were working in my dream job, had the perfect relationship, or was living my oh-so-unobtainable “best” post F.I.R.E. life, I am at a nadir of happiness.

You may be asking, what are the tools I use to help myself?

The answer…….. partly………… is WORK.

Yes, unintentional but still work. My “lazy- genes” hate to admit. Hmm, it must be autosomal dominant.

What do I do more, what do I do less?

Quick answer, TRAVEL

I had a milestone birthday this year and without divulging too much because honestly I don’t want my identity to get hacked, I was away more than I was “home”. It was SOLO and SLOW. Sleeping until I wanted to get up and skipping activities last-minute without negotiating with others was PRICELESS!

I travelled to 8 Countries, and 22 Cities. I went to 10 music/food festivals where I had the great privilege of meeting my favorite DJ’s and of course, I partied like a rock-star! (insert star-eyes emoji here). I saw 3 world-heritage sites, one of which was Machu Picchu; a life-long bucket-list trip I did with fellow Chautauquans I now call close friends. I attended two retreats, and met great new friends. I caught COVID abroad. I took it as a “vacation from my vacation” (hehehe). I did a 2500 “miles run” to keep my status on a certain airline previously mentioned across the Country at the end of the year. I surprised my Dad. I waved to Micky Mouse with the grand baby in Orlando and I rounded out the year singing my heart out (out of tune) to one of my favorite singers, Mary J. Blige at the Miami Funk Fest.

On balance……………

I GOT IT IN!

with BIG REVENGE TRAVEL energy! Just like my MacBook Pro has no more storage, I have no more airline points. It’s satisfyingly empty!

WHAT ARE THE SURPRISES?

Answer: ME!

I am the biggest surprise! Learning about myself and being OK with it is revealing. I learned my “Love Language”, that I am not a travel agent (sorry travel companion peeps for all the blips in the schedules) and not to force anything. I wasted so much time trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. No more! My philosophy is “let it be”. I don’t make it a contest, nor do I have the urge to always set goals. #NOGOALS – Yeah! I accept the bitter with the sweet and just let it be.

I’ve learned how to say sorry better in a meaningful way AND learned how to confront people and situations that bothered me on a deep level. I realize it now as I have attempted to practice this with people in my life. I try not to let difficult situations fester, I try to address them when they arise, after I’ve cooled off a bit. I am not perfect, but I will say, in instances where I confronted situations that needed it, I remember feeling better about it immediately. The knots in my stomach and my perseverating thoughts just dissipate now. It’s like a magic wand, the feelings just go away like “poof”.

Addressing difficult situations in the present has been THE most impactful lesson I learned since early retirement. In fact, had I incorporated this skill set while working, I may have staved off some of the burn-out. But that’s a different post. Fellow anxious folks, please try this at home and let me know the results. You know,

down there …….. in the comments.

WHAT PANNED OUT AND WENT AS EXPECTED?

That’s easy………….

Attending Chautauqua again. I know, I know, I said to myself that I would never reveal this on my Blog as I like to remain low-key incognito, but ……

Hey, some things in life are worth risking my identity. Of course, the low readership also helps with confidence of not getting found out (hahahaha).

REAL TALK here………………pull up your chair……………………. I’ll wait

Hands Down

For me……………….

Chautauquan’s are by and large MY PEOPLE!

Without sounding too “cult”-y, it has truly been one of the highlights of my life. To sit and have real, truthful and honest conversations with people about our shared paths, desires and “hang-up’s” that transcend race, class, some ideology, gender and job description was life-affirming for me both times I attended. Chautauquans know more about me (in some aspects) than my own family and long-time friends. It just attests to JL’s idea of the Chautauqua. Thank-you JL and all of the organizers, speakers and adjacent’s. Without pretension JL, you opened your arms to all of us. I only hope you gained as much from the fellow attendees as you have given to us. My life is RICHER (including the VTSAX richer-hehehe), but more-so; the warm and fuzzy-type, the …. “I belong-here” richer because of your idea and execution of the Chautauqua. Thank-you!

WHAT FEELS WEIRD OR UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING F.I.R.E.ed?

This hasn’t changed, but how I deal with it has. Instead of giving all these well-thought-out and rehearsed responses to “what do you do for a living?” questions, I just construct an answer that fits the situation. One day I’m a contractor, the next day I am a student mentor/teacher, other days, I am HYPE-[wo]MAN/promotor for my favorite DJ’s. What I DON’T do is discuss F.I.R.E. with anyone who doesn’t know about it. Going with my “let it be” philosophy. Fortunately or unfortunately, most people are where they need to be. In summary, I don’t talk medicine and I don’t talk money.

WHAT DO I SEE IN MY FUTURE?

“To Thine Own Self Be True” – William Shakespeare

I am in the practice of serving my inner-self (subconscious) first. I am trying to be a better person while staying true to myself. I owe it to the girl who got up on cold mornings and took a public bus to a different school district for a better life.

I am considering practicing again, but in a different iteration than an all-day everyday burn-out-provoking grind. Stay-tuned.

Ok, headed to the beach, I’ll be listening to this new Disco mix I found on SoundCloud.

After all,

LIFE’S A BEACH.